A
recent and fruitless genealogical trail included an unexpected mention of William O.
Douglas, a western boy from Washington State who made good and served a lengthy
spell on the Supreme Court (1935-1975). These guys try hard to present a very
somber image. You rarely see one of them with a part-time gig at a comedy
theater. When agreeing to give up mingling with the rest of us hoi-polloi, they
are relieved of any worry of unemployment or of being made redundant.
And so …. I was surprised to learn
that Douglas claimed in his autobiographical book, “Go East Young Man: The
Early Years” that while teaching at Yale, he and fellow professor Thurman
Arnold were riding the New Haven Railroad and were inspired upon seeing the sign "Passengers Will Please Refrain ..." to create this slightly ribald song by the same name. They set it to the tune of Humoresque #7 (Anton Dvorak) (See Douglas’ entry in Wikipedia).
Ordinarily, I myself, would refrain
from sharing such ribaldry on this forum. But I missed it in my youth, and
because of its association with this great jurist, I am making an exception. There
seem to be a wealth of subsequent versions of this ditty, but perhaps the
following is close to Douglas’ and Thurman's original:
Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is in the station, darling, I love you.
We encourage constipation
While the train is in the station.
Moonlight always makes me think of you.
If you wish to pass some water
Simply call the Pullman porter.
He’ll place a vessel in the vestibule.
If the porter isn’t here
Try the platform in the rear.
The front one’s more than likely to be full.
If the women’s room is taken
Do not feel the least forsaken.
Never show a sign of sad defeat.
Try the men’s room cross the hall.
And if some man has had the call,
He will kindly offer you his seat.
If all these efforts are in vain,
Simply break a window pane.
This common method’s used by very few.
Let’s go strolling in the park,
Goosing statues in the dark.
If Sherman’s horse can take it, why can’t you?
For those of you with musical skill greater
than humming, here is the tune:
And here, for the rest of us is an audio version on You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyiMYI4oQTU
More versions and verses are at
https://mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=143752
. If you go here, you have only yourself to blame.
Roger Doherty
